What would life look like if you were sexually satisfied, fulfilled—every day?

I’ve been in a spot where my husband was not interested in having sex with me, my sex drive was higher than his since the beginning of our marriage (or so we thought), and I was trying everything I knew to do to make life greater- to have a better relationship with my husband, and not knowing how to help the situation. Little did I realize that the best way to help the situation was to helpmyself.

I’ve stumbled upon a self-proposed experiment; 30 days of orgasms and masturbation.

Get Some Satisfaction

What would life be like sexually satisfied?

Once upon a time, this cute young Bride was sitting atop her throne of “below par” experiences on her groom’s part, ahem, whenever she’d ask him to bone make love to her, he reply he just wasn’t really into it. And this happened more and more. And she’d talk to him more and more, saying things like, “Gosh, babe, I just… I just want to orgasm more! I NEVER get to orgasm, I wish we would take more time on me, babe.  I mean, seriously, I think I’ve orgasmed once in the last few weeks. Ah… I love you so much and I just want to do that more with you, I want to experience you more,” Translation: “I’VE GOT ALL THIS SEXUAL TENSION IN MY BODY AND I CAN’T RELEASE IT BECAUSE OF YOU! GET. ME. OFF. AS MUCH AS YOU DO, PLEASE!  I WANT TO COME AS MUCH AS YOU DO, DANG-IT! IT’S NOT FAIR! I WANNA BE A FREAK TOO– I WANNA EJACULATE ON YOUR FACE!” She daintily spoke something along those lines…

Now the reality here- the sexual tension and BUILD UP– let me tell ya, you know those situations where you don’t know that you don’t know until you know, and then you look back and go, “Daaang!”? that was precisely my predicament.

The trouble was, I was always very VERY difficult to please. My husband couldn’t stimulate me the right way, or if he started playing with me (“doing it right”) and I’d start getting “warmed up” as I liked to think of it (like revvin’ an engine, startin’ up the party) he’s shut it all down and jump right into business, which felt like he was leaving my sexual satisfaction and needs in the dust. After many turns around this mountain, over the course of oh…I don’t know, the majority of our first year of marriage- I’d developed a pattern. I’d begging to be banged, I’d get banged (just the thing I was asking for), and then I’d be left just as unsatisfied prior to shagging. So over the course of time my lack-of-satisfaction with being not “fulfilled” and climaxing, and being SO hard to please, you won’t believe what happened next. His sex drive began to be DWINDLE; we’re talking balls in the Antarctic Ocean, people…SHRIVELING…DISAPPEARING.  Having sex with his wife was a feat he could never win, so why start a game your bound to lose? I mean come on, how would you feel with a spouse who no matter how hard you tried to improve, or do your best, regardless of the result they time and time again say they aren’t pleased; AND IT’S YOUR FAULT!  That’s a burden and a pressure no one ought to carry, EVER.  Something wasn’t right with this picture.

Once the cat was out of the box (“I think you’ve had more of a sex-drive than I have because it’s a bit discouraging to me when we have sex,”) I had some research and problem solving to do.   I had no idea the position I had been putting him in our entire relationship- I had been putting pressure on him to please me– hit the right spots, do all the right things at the right tensions, speeds, pressures, in the right way, in the right place– I’d been looking to him to figure out how to do it right FOR me. The reality was; I didn’t know what I wanted! I didn’t know how to really reach an orgasm consistently, with or without him. I didn’t have a clue what I wanted and I was putting him in the position of HE was supposed to figure it out, and if he couldn’t figure it out for me then he was failing me.

LADIES, COULD YOU IMAGINE HAVING THE PRESSURE AND PREDICAMENT SO MANY OF US PUT OUR MEN IN? How many of us have been discontent, upset, bitter even that our men are able to climax like rocket ships without even thinking twice about it, while we feel like we’re being left out in the dust?

Well I’ve got news for you ladies, it’s not them…IT’S US!! When was the last time you got right down on it, and engaged in pleasuring yourself (a term some call selfloving) and took the matter into your own hands and set your own rocket off?

Master the art of Setting Your Rocket Off

When was the last time you set your rocket off?

A man WANTS to please his woman; it’s built into their hearts! There’s nothing more affirming for a man than to have their beautiful woman convulsing in absolute euphoric state because they did a good job, and don’t we love and desire to have the same effect on them? The trouble is, we haven’t been doing a good job showing them what gets us off because WE DON’T KNOW what gets us off.

Thus the catalyst which led me to create what this series of posts are all about; The “O” Experiment.

Over my limited experience, I’d masturbated probably a total of under 50 times in my life time, and I guarantee this is probably much more than most well-intentioned girls and young women. It had been built into me “Women don’t masturbate. Women don’t touch themselves. That’s nasty. That’s not lady-like.  Masturbating is sin. Sexual pleasure and desire is a sin, only when your married can you have sex, and you can’t masturbate then because that’s withholding from your spouse, which is sin. Proper ladies don’t masturbate.”

Really? Well how’s that working’ out for you?  The fruit of my following those ideals and beliefs were that I’d grown frustrated and possibly a bit bitter towards my husband towards our sex life, I’d become up tight, stressed out, hypersensitive (a.k.a. this whiny, insecure, can’t-take-a-joke stick-in-the-mud) and controlling in all the other things of my life because I’d grown sexually frustrated.  The way I viewed the situation I rarely was “given the time or opportunity” to orgasm, and I had NO IDEA how to get there consistently. I felt I’d lost control of my inner life, so I tried to control the externals in the rest of my life.

I began opening my eyes to the situation (that it was truly ME, not him with the issue), and where did I go?

Google, of course.

“How to come for women” “How to masturbate for woman” “How to orgasm as a woman” “How to stimulate yourself, as a woman” “How to play with yourself as a woman” “How to ejaculate as a woman”

About 95% of what I found was very informative, full of varied opinions about the idea of masturbating, but  no meat- no nitty gritty “TRY THIS POSITION” “DO THIS” “STICK YOUR FINGER HERE”– that I so desperately wanted and needed! I did find excessive amounts of “Gently begin to caress yourself. Think horny thoughts. Imagine your favorite celebrity.” advice, however.

I did find a great post which I’d like to share with you, it’s titled, Woman, masturbate. You can access it here: http://loveskills.wordpress.com/2011/05/15/womanmasturbate/ )

So as a result of my deficit of findings out there for how to rev your sex life and take control and get good at getting off, I’ve created a self-proposed experiment I’ve affectionately deemed, The “O” Experiment. Over the next 30 days, I’m going to document and monitor was happens to life when a woman has a life style of frequent full climaxes, and what happens to the rest of life as she knew it.

I’ll be documenting:

  • How this effects my sex life with my husband (My ability to climax, over all sex quality, frequency of sex, the amount of time it takes to climax, my sex drive, his sex drive)
  • How this effects my relationship with my husband (emotionally, day in day out)
  • How does this effect my emotions, stress levels, moods, outlook on life, responses and ability to cope with situations
  • How this effects my bodily health (weight, flexibility, aerobic capacity, energy levels, eating patterns…)

Findings of techniques, positions, health discoveries, helpful hints, quirks…all these things will be posted and made available to you. I also ask for input as well; have you already been in my shoes- did you find a great website or article or book that turned you into a Pleasure-Machine? Post it! PLEASE, post it! My intention in the “O” experiment is to discover what happens to a woman’s life when she becomes competent in managing her needs, and to equip and empower you, my dear reader, with the tools you need to become fulfilled and competent in your own sexuality, thus becoming a satisfied woman, inside and out.

30 days

NOTE: As for my male readers, do any of these characteristics hit home in your relationship with your wife? Encourage your wife/significant other to check in on this blog.  The intention here is the liberation she experiences is a direct correlation to the liberation YOU will be experiencing.  You could always be relaying the information and tricks to her, but it may be best for her to be able to familiarize with the techniques, tips, and positions herself as well.

Join me, and let’s let the exploration begin!

The “O” Experiment.

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